03 May Vote for a Beer You Can Believe In
You can’t avoid all the posters around the place.
Lots of empty promises and wild claims and dubious statements.
‘Unfiltered’ this, and ‘this is the west’ that, and ‘we’re in it for the love it’ the other…
Plus a whole load of other meaningless waffle.
Can you really trust these other candidates? Of course not.
For a beer you can really trust, vote Rascals no. 1
Here is the Rascals manifesto:
- Implementation of a two-day working week
- Milkshake beers to be given UNESCO protected status
- Compulsory craft beer taps in every pub
- The phasing out of beards and check shirts in order to counteract hackneyed stereotypes within the industry
- National anthem to be renamed ‘Bag of Cans for the Weekend’
- The banning of macro beers from music festivals
- We’ll fix your road
- National holidays to be declared in the event of the temperature rising above 20 degrees
- Free socks to be distributed to all those young lads who don’t seem to have any and strut about showing at least two inches of ankle
- National Day of Mourning to be declared whenever a macro producer brings out a “craft” beer offering
- Politicians to be banned from coming within 100m of a busker
- Free counselling for commuters who’ve had to use the M7 for the past two years
- Institute a National Beer Name Puns Awards
Make the right choice: Vote Rascals no.1
Yes we cans!