Here’s A List Of The Best Crisps In Ireland
Nothing goes better with a can or pint of Rascals craft beer than a packet of crisps. In the confusing and cluttered world of snacking you need to know what’s what. Popcorn and peanuts are grand, yeah, but they’re not crisps are they? Crisps are the best. But which packet of crisps IS the best? We’ve spent weeks conducting extensive and scientific research to come up with the top 20 crisps in this country. Sadly there are some crisps no longer with us: Crun-Chos, Keoghs roast beef and Irish stout, and Discos salt and vinegar. Still, here’s the definitive list. You’ll notice the likes of Walkers and Doritos didn’t make the cut, because they’re just not good enough. Anyway, disagreeing with this list pointless because we’re right.
20. Snax
Not a bad crisp, but not a great crisp. If you’re 10 years old they’ll be your favourite crisp, but they don’t really offer much more than fleeting cheesy oniony snack gratification. If they were a car they’d be a Nissan Micra.
19. Burger Bites
These bad boys have been around for yonks. What they lack in flavour, they make up for in crunchiness and shape. They’re a good decent crisp. If they were a 1990s Manchester United player they’d be Denis Irwin.
18. Tayto – Prawn Cocktail
Surprisingly underrated. As with a lot of Tayto crisps they seem to be getting scabbier with the quantities as each year goes by. You open a pack of these and you’re wondering why there’s barely a third of the bag filled with crisps. Nonetheless, the flavours are nicely loaded in each packet.
17. Mighty Munch
Formerly known as Monster Munch, the great thing about these crisps is when you find the one that’s utterly soaked in the flavour dust. Sometimes the piece feels slightly damp or cold, but it’s an absolute pure shot of Mighty Munch flavour and it’s better than sex.
16. Chipsticks
Zingy, tongue-tingling salt and vinegar flavours don’t come much better than Chipsticks. The texture is different too: you can kind of crush and pulp them in your gob real easy. Your fingers are a mess afterwards, but they’re great. If they were a U2 album they’d be The Joshua Tree.
15. Hula Hoops – original
They’re just a class act really. Perfect with a few cans of Rascals Happy Days session pale ale. The red Hula Hoops represent consistency in a world gone mad. High on the crunch factor scale too, and not overly salty.
14. Tayto – Smokey Bacon
Easily the best of the core Tayto range, these smokey bacon crisps are a solid performer every time. The flavouring is just right and it’s great when you get to the small bits at the end of the bag; they’re the best. Sometimes I open the bag at the bottom just to get to them first.
13. King Crisps – cheese and onion
King Crisps are supposedly the favourite with Dublin folk, while their rural cousins prefer Tayto Cheese and Onion. Regardless, they’re both produced by the same company. So what makes King better than Tayto? I haven’t a clue, but it’s an incontrovertible truth.
12. Keogh’s – Atlantic sea salt and Irish cider vinegar
Why the bloody hell did Keogh’s discontinue the roasted beer and Irish stout crisp? It was the greatest. However, our no.12 entry is still pretty damn good. Maybe the guys are too busy with the jazz woodbines to bring back their greatest creation, amirite?!? Know what I mean?!?! Oh yeah, I went there.
11. McCoy’s – Flame Grilled Steak
A mighty good crisp. Too frequently only available in those complete rip-off multipacks, but don’t let that put you off. This is a crisp to be reckoned with, for sure. If it was a movie star from a bygone era it’d be Charles Bronson.
10. Keogh’s – shamrock and sour cream
Well you can’t fault them for innovation. There are few crisp makers willing to try out something new these days. Keogh’s have stuck their necks out and created a wild taste bud ride with this effort. They’re delicious, but after your second or third bag you’ll probably feel a bit queasy and full of self-loathing because you can’t control your crisp binges.
9. Banshee Bones
Bringing back Banshee Bones has to be the best decision made by anyone, anywhere in 2020. A decent salt and vinegar profile is complemented by the soft pillowy texture of the crisp or ‘bone’. Not a real bone, we’ve been assured. They’re simply a champion crisp. If they were a tennis player they’d be one of the Williams sisters but I can’t decide which one.
8. O’Donnell’s – Ballymaloe relish and cheddar cheese
You can’t fault this crisp. The sweetness is perfectly balanced by the cheesiness and there’s no scrimping on the flavour quantities. This isn’t a crisp to be messed around with. Cop yourself on and enjoy it.
7. Hunky Dorys – buffalo flavour
What does a buffalo taste like? I don’t know. What do these crisps taste like? Beautiful. Easily the best Hunky Dorys in the range, they’re like the 6ft lad on the under-12 hurling team whom you suspect is 13 because he’s already shaving and he’s built like a tank. No other Hunky Dorys flavour gets close.
6. Rancheros
One of the true greats. Everything about the crisp is quality: the shape, the crunchiness, the consistency of flavour. It’s a winner. If this crisp was a series of The Wire it would be series four.
5. Hula Hoops – BBQ beef
The best Hula Hoop money can buy. Always there when you need a magnificently tasty crunchy crisp to partner up with any Rascals beer. The brown Hula Hoop bag is the go-to bag. It’s the sine qua non of Hula Hoop crisps. Long may it remain so.
4. Skips
If you don’t love Skips there’s something profoundly wrong with you. Seriously, what’s your problem? Did you have your taste buds removed? Are you a psychopath? Get yourself checked out man.
3. Smiths Bacon Fries
The absolute Rolls Royce of bacon fries. Any other bacon fry pretender is a charlatan and a fraud. It’s not just the premier bacon fry, it’s one of the greatest crisps of all time. If this was a Coen Brothers film it would be The Big Lebowski.
2. O’Donnell’s – cheese and onion
Anyone who thinks there’s a better cheese and onion crisp on the market it wholly delusional. O’Donnell’s have created a masterpiece. It’s the Sistine Chapel of cheese and onion crisps. It’s even more beautiful than that: Michelangelo was a good painter yeah, but what decent crisps did he invent? None, that’s how many. None.
WINNER: Meanies
The top spot deservedly goes to Meanies. You wouldn’t pickle an onion and carry it around in a bag, occasionally taking bites out of it, would you? No, of course not, what are you some kind of lunatic? But the people at Meanies have done just that. Kind of. It’s nothing short of remarkable: a pickled onion crisp that tastes heavenly. Perfectly formed, perfectly flavoured and the perfect accompaniment to a pint of Rascals beer. It’s best crisp there is and it won’t be beaten.
Now you know which crisps to buy, why not head over to our shop and buy some beer?
